Blame is the world’s greatest excuse. It enables us to remain limited and small without feeling guilty. But there is a cost— the loss of our freedom.

One of the biggest blocks to overcome in getting out of depression and apathy is that of blame. Blame is a whole subject in itself. Looking into it is rewarding.

To begin with, there are a lot of payoffs to blame. We get to be innocent; we get to enjoy self-pity; we get to be the martyr and the victim; and we get to be the recipients of sympathy. Perhaps the biggest payoff of blame is that we get to be the innocent victim and the other party is the bad one.

We see this game played out in the media constantly, such as the endless blame games dramatized in a multitude of controversies, mudslinging, character assassinations, and lawsuits. In addition to the emotional payoff, blame has considerable financial benefits; therefore, it is a tempting package to be the innocent victim, as it is often financially rewarded. There was a famous example of this in New York City many years ago. A public conveyance accident occurred. People poured out of the front door of the vehicle, then gathered in a small crowd, furnishing their names and addresses for future financial benefit. Bystanders quickly caught on to the game and secretly climbed into the back of the vehicle, so that they could then emerge from the front as injured , “innocent victims.” They hadn’t even been in the accident, but they were going to collect a reward!

Blame is the world’s greatest excuse. It enables us to remain limited and small without feeling guilty. But there is a cost— the loss of our freedom. Also, the role of victim brings with it a self-perception of weakness, vulnerability, and helplessness, which are the major components of apathy and depression.

The first step out of blame is to see that we are choosing to blame. Other people who have had similar circumstances have forgiven, forgotten, and handled the same situation in a totally different way.

We earlier saw the case of Viktor Frankl, who chose to forgive the Nazi prison guards and to see a hidden gift in his experience at the concentration camps. Because others, such as Frankl, have chosen not to blame, that option is also open to us.

You Choose to BLAME

We have to be honest and realize that we are blaming because we choose to blame . This is true, no matter how justified the circumstances may appear to be. It is not a matter of right or wrong; it is merely a matter of taking responsibility for our own consciousness. It is a totally different situation to see that we choose to blame rather than to think that we have to blame. In this circumstance, the mind often thinks, “Well, if the other person or event is not to blame, then I must be.” Blaming others or ourselves is simply not necessary. The attraction of blame arises in early childhood as a daily occurrence in the classroom, playground, and at home among siblings. Blame is the central issue in the endless court proceedings and lawsuits that characterize our society.

In truth, blame is just another one of the negative programs that we have allowed

our mind to buy because we never stopped to question it.

Why must something always be someone’s “fault”? Why must the whole concept of “wrong” be introduced to the situation in the first place? Why must one of us be wrong, bad, or at fault? What seemed like a good idea at the time may not have turned out well. That’s all. Unfortunate events may have just happened.

To overcome blame, it is necessary to look at the secret satisfaction and enjoyment we get out of self-pity, resentment, anger, and self-excuses, and to begin to surrender all of these little payoffs.

The purpose of this step is to move up from being a victim of our feelings to choosing to have them. If we merely acknowledge and observe them, begin to disassemble them, and surrender the component parts, then we are consciously exercising choice.

In this way, we make a major move out of the morass of helplessness. It is helpful in overcoming resistance and taking responsibility for our negative programs and feelings to see that they come from the small aspect of ourselves. It is the very nature of the smallest part of ourselves to think negatively, so there’s an unconscious tendency to agree readily to its limited viewpoint. But that is not the whole of our beingness; for outside and beyond the smaller self is our greater Self.

We may not be conscious of our inner greatness. We may not be experiencing it, but it is there. If we let go of our resistance to it, we can begin to experience it.

Depression and apathy, therefore, result from the willingness to hang on to the small self and its belief systems, plus the resistance to our Higher Self, which consists of all of the opposites of the negative feelings.

• It is the nature of the universe that everything in it is represented by its equal and opposite.
• Thus, the electron’s equal and opposite is the positron.
• Every force has an equal and opposite counter-force.
• Yin is compensated for by Yang.
• There is fear but there is also courage.
• There is hatred but its opposite is love.
• There is timidity but there is also bravery.
• There is stinginess but also generosity.
• In the human psyche, every feeling has its opposite.

The way out of negativity is, therefore, the willingness to acknowledge and let go of negative feelings and, at the same time , the willingness to let go of resisting their positive opposite.

Depression and apathy are the result of being at the effect of the negative polarity.

How does this work in everyday life? Let’s look again at the example of someone’s birthday that is approaching quickly. Because of things that have happened in the past, we have resentments and feel unwilling to do anything for the birthday. Somehow, it just seems impossible to get out and shop for a birthday present. We resent having to spend the money. The mind conjures up all kinds of justifications : “I don’t have time to shop”; “I can’t forget how mean she was”; “She should apologize to me first.” In this case, two things are operating: clinging to the negative and the smallness in ourselves, and resisting the positive and the greatness in ourselves. The way out of apathy is to see, first of all, that “I can’t” is an “I won’t.” In looking at the “I won’t,” we see that it is there because of negative feelings and, as they come up, they can be acknowledged and let go. It is also apparent that we are resisting positive feelings. These feelings of love, generosity, and forgiveness can be looked at one by one. We can sit down and imagine the quality of generosity and let go resisting it. Is there something generous within ourselves? In this case, we may not be willing to apply it to the birthday person in the beginning. What we can begin to see is the existence of such a quality as generosity within our consciousness. We begin to see that, as we let go resisting the feeling of generosity, there is generosity. We do, in fact, enjoy giving to others under certain circumstances. We begin to remember the positive flood of feeling that comes upon us when we express gratitude and acknowledge the gifts that others have given us. We see that we have really been suppressing a desire to forgive and, as we let go of the resistance to being forgiving, there emerges the willingness to let go of the grievance. As we do this, we stop identifying with our small self and become consciously aware that there is something in us that is greater. It is always there but hidden from view. This process is applicable in all negative situations. It enables us to change the context by which we perceive our current situation. It enables us to give it a new and different meaning. It lifts us up from being the helpless victim to the conscious chooser. In the example given, it doesn’t mean that we have to rush out and buy a birthday gift . But it does mean that we are now aware that we are in our current position out of choice. We have total freedom, with greater latitude of action and choice. This is a much higher state of consciousness than the helpless victim who is trapped by a past resentment.

One of the laws of consciousness is: We are only subject to a negative thought or belief if we consciously say that it applies to us. We are free to choose not to buy into a negative belief system.

How does this work in everyday life?

Let’s take a common example. The newspapers report unemployment is at a record high. The television news commentator states: “No jobs are available.” At this point, we are free to refuse to buy into the negative thought form. We can say instead, “Unemployment does not apply to me.” By refusing to accept the negative belief, it now has no hold over our own life. Examples from personal experience reveal that, during periods of high unemployment such as after World War II, there was no problem getting a job. As a matter of fact, one could have two or even three jobs at the same time: dishwasher, waiter, bellhop, cab driver , bartender, factory worker, greenhouse worker, and window -washer. This was the consequence of a belief system that said: “Unemployment applies to others but not to me,” and “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” There was also a willingness to relinquish pride in return for employment.

Epidemic Diseases

Another example is that of belief systems having to do with epidemic diseases. A few years ago, fourteen acquaintances were observed closely during an epidemic of flu. Of the fourteen people, eight came down with the flu, but six did not. What is important here is not that eight people came down with the flu, but that six did not! In any epidemic, there are people who do not “catch it.” Even during the depths of the depression, there were still people who became wealthy and even millionaires . The thought of poverty was “catching” in those days, but somehow those people did not buy into it; therefore, it did not apply to them.

Negativity

For negativity to apply to our life, we must first subscribe to it and, secondly, give it the energy of belief. If we have the power to make negativity manifest in our life, obviously our mind also has the power to make its converse come true.

Level of consciousness 20 (Shame): At a level of consciousness of 20, we may feel overwhelmed by feelings of shame and inadequacy. Negativity may feel all-consuming, and it can be challenging to envision a brighter future. However, even at this level, we can begin to cultivate self-compassion and recognize that our struggles do not define our worth as human beings. By seeking support and reframing our negative self-talk, we can start to move towards a more positive mindset.

Level of consciousness 75 (Guilt): At a level of consciousness of 75, we may still struggle with feelings of guilt and shame, but we may also begin to see glimmers of hope for the future. We may recognize that our actions have consequences, but we can also start to take responsibility for our mistakes and seek forgiveness. By focusing on making amends and taking positive action, we can slowly begin to shift our mindset towards a more positive outlook.

Level of consciousness 150 (Courage): At a level of consciousness of 150, we may begin to feel a sense of courage and empowerment. We may recognize our own agency in shaping our reality and feel more confident in our ability to take positive action. While negativity may still be present, we can choose to face it head-on and actively work towards creating a more positive future for ourselves.

Level of consciousness 200 (Neutrality): At a level of consciousness of 200, we may begin to experience a sense of neutrality towards negativity. We can recognize it as part of the human experience but not allow it to control our thoughts and actions. Instead, we can focus on cultivating a sense of inner peace and contentment, even amidst challenging circumstances.

Level of consciousness 250 (Willingness): At a level of consciousness of 250, we may begin to feel a sense of willingness to make positive changes in our lives. We can recognize that we have the power to choose our thoughts and actions, and we may be more open to seeking out support and resources to help us achieve our goals.

Level of consciousness 310 (Acceptance): At a level of consciousness of 310, we may experience a deeper sense of acceptance and self-love. We can recognize and embrace our strengths and weaknesses and have a greater sense of compassion towards ourselves and others. We may still encounter negativity, but we can approach it with a more grounded and balanced mindset.

Level of consciousness 350 (Reason): At a level of consciousness of 350, we may begin to approach negativity with greater reasoning and logic. We can objectively evaluate our thoughts and beliefs and determine which ones are serving us and which ones we need to let go of. By using our minds in a more constructive and intentional way, we can create a more positive and fulfilling reality.

Level of consciousness 400 (Love): At a level of consciousness of 400, we may experience a deeper sense of love and connection to ourselves and others. We can recognize the inherent goodness in ourselves and others and approach negativity with a sense of compassion and understanding. By choosing to focus on love and positivity, we can create a more harmonious and joyful existence.

Level of consciousness 500 (Joy): At a level of consciousness of 500, we may experience a profound sense of joy and fulfillment. We can recognize the interconnectedness of all things and see the beauty and wonder in the world around us. Negativity may still exist, but we can approach it with a sense of detachment and a focus on the bigger picture. By cultivating joy and positivity in our lives, we can create a truly abundant and fulfilling existence.

Hawkins, David R. (2013-08-01). Letting Go (pp. 58-59). Hay House. Kindle Edition.